TheBlog

Monday, August 4, 2014

Demons

We've been intertwined
living together for years
far behind and ahead in the distance
yeah, we're buddies till the end


My demons follow me
but only because I let them
but what else can I do
they do have a deep hold on me
and there is nowhere to retreat

First I met weed, and oh yeah! She was so,
so, so soothing and sweet
she took me at times into deep sleep
and she played with my brain but 
not so much

Then the snowy powder came in
to play and I really loved her
she gave me that ecstasy no other
could give me, and she was so, so, so
loyal to me,
but I wanted her more
and more, each day
She calmed me down with her white
angelic presence leaving snowy traces 
on my face

My demons follow me
but only because I let them
but what else can I do
they do have a deep hold on me
and there is nowhere to retreat

Then, I was introduce to this
awe inspiring beauty
a diamond in the rough, really
beautifully smoked, it transported me
to the ends of the world
little did I know, she was the beginning
the beginning of the end

My demons follow me
but only because I let them
but what else can I do
they do have a deep hold
and there is nowhere to retreat

My little rocky friend, came and went
but it comfortably stayed
and others came too, to join the party
we had a good time together
she melted away in a little spoon
her bubbly presence mesmerized me
to no end

And then, in she went, through my veins
slowly like a raging fire she burnt
my heart, my vision, my brain

Oh she went deep inside of me
it took hold of my whole being
she became to possessed me
She wrapped me around her finger
so smoothly and fiercely
She is my true angel
my soulmate,
she is so lovely I cannot live without her


My demons follow me
but there was only one that
forever stayed, and I love her for it
she, I can depend on forever
her name is crystal meth, 
yeah that's my girl!
        

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Mind Creeper

It is a slow process
It slowly creeps into your life
It silently talks into my ear
That voice in my head
I feel like doing nothing
it says
Let's just lay here and wait
but wait for what, I wonder
I wait and nothing happens
But then, I know
My body feels tire
and I want to do nothing
I fall into an stupor, of sorts
It is creeping under my skin
I can feel it, sense it
It is whispering in my ear
you are worth nothing
look at all that work, and for what?
Look at you, have you seen that?
It is a slow process
It is slowly creeping into my life
It is whispering now in my ear
And ringing right into my brain
I can feel it, slowly, smoothly moving
like a drop of olive oil on my skin
it rolls down, leaving just a fine trace
a clear path of its presence,
into my head
Yeah, it is taking over
slowly but surely
it is taking control over me
my mind, my senses, my sanity
I can see it in the night
the shadow looms on the wall
like a mosquito buzzing around,
I slap it off but it moves, quickly
It is creeping
under the blankets at night
when I sleep, but I don't let it
It is trying to take over my dreams,
but I fight it with my white board
I put in a cage, where it can't escape
or so I thought
but it oozed out through the narrow slots
and onto the curtain
hanging like a shadow in Summer time
It is creeping on the wall
I try to catch it, but it is too smart
just when I think I got it, it escapes
until morning arrives
and I'm so grateful 
because it is light time and it won't get me
Until I turn around
and see it plaster on the wall
once again
sneering at me with satisfaction
"You cannot escape me, it says"
I shake my head, "Leave me alone" I say
But, it is relentless
I keeps slowly creeping
into my head
Then, with all my might
I fight it and it leaves me alone

But, it sits on the corner chair
in my room
It sits there and waits
at night, still sitting in the dark
with that sneer in its face
I feel it and I fear it
that IT will get me 
one of these days

Thursday, March 20, 2014

The Bully Won

I hated every day,
I get reminded of him
There are days that his presence in my head,
consumes me
But why?
Because I let it (him) consume me
I am outrage, irate even
He still there in his office
Living the life
He does not deserve, to be there
He was told a lie, probably of why I left
Honesty is never a priority, for many
People ask for honesty
But do not really want to hear it,
so I always say: "if you don't want honesty, don't ask"
I am honest to the core, too honest perhaps
I can't help it
Always been, since I was little
I got smack on the head for saying things like
"That dress is ugly, it doesn't suit you"
Or for my birthday once I got underwear
and I said: "Thanks just what I really needed"
I was given the look, that look that you are not
suppose to say things like that
But it was true, mine were falling apart
Mom had no money to buy us new
My boss once asked me to be honest,
But what really meant was, just tell me what I want to hear
But I didn't tell him what he wanted to hear
- I later found out -
And the snowball started coming down the hill
Then it got bigger and it continue rolling
slowly but surely it GREW
"No need to come to this meeting", at first
Then, "I don't think you need to be here today"
Later, "you behaved childishly"
On it went: "I don't like you"
It kept going: "You're making our department look bad
for saying good morning to everyone every day"
The last straw: "I'm an asshole and I will treat you like one"
That did it, so I complained to our boss,
he didn't do anything only pat him on the back for a job well done
I complaint some more to HR
"Really, he said that, Oh I don't think he meant that"
Talk to the boss again
I was ignored nothing was being done
so I QUIT and gave my two weeks notice
Then, the stunner came on Monday afternoon
The big boss called to tell me,
"Sorry we're letting you go, you're not the right person for the job"
I was escorted to the lobby
and left for dead
I cried, a lot
It left me scatter in a million pieces
scarred to the core

The BULLY won







Wednesday, January 8, 2014

A New Beginning

A new beginning, of sorts
we have been given
a brand new year to start new projects,
new dreams, more shopping
more gossiping, more of everything
or double of everything
A new beginning to make amends
some will make promises,
to never keep,
others make resolutions that brake too soon
and to never return
A new beginning with different ends
our lives will change or not,
but one thing remains the same
another 365 days have began
Let us begin
with no resolutions or promises
that we know will never keep
or resolved, for that matter
Let us be free for once
of self deprecation and constraints
of looking ourselves in the mirror
and not recognize who we see
or what we see
Let us begin with happy thoughts
of moments passed, good times
with friends and loves ones, and
to always recognized that nobody is perfect
Let us begin
a new adventure of work or fun
it doesn't matter
what matters this time
is that a new beginning
we have been given
without forgetting the things and people
we most value and treasure every day
and not ONLY when tragedy happens
A new beginning has began
Let us all do our best to love ourselves
a little more