Monday, June 29, 2009

Consummate Runners

We prepared for a long time
there are jitters and nervousness
we get hurt, we go through pain
sometimes, we fall but get back-up
we get up early in the mornings,
it is a crazy thing to do
at times we just want to give up
but we don't
we continue on regardless of the hurt
one day we decide to participate
and pay dearly at times
ouch there it goes the bank account
but who cares, it is all for fun
we meet new people, groups, and just individuals
some welcome you, others keep you at arms
length, but eventually accept you
there are miles to be covered
water to be drank, food to be eaten
restful nights are needed
and sacrifices are made
for one day of glory
that could last
seconds, minutes, or hours
one wrong step could be the end
and every stride gets you closer to the goal
some do it for the thrill of it
others just want a challenge
a few do it for fun, but to prove something
yet, I do it because I love it
amongst my peers I stand at that fine line
where one pop will send us all wild
we stand at the start line
amongst many
we have come all this way for one ride
others have arrived from far lands
for one day of glory,
we are consummate runners
that train, train, train
and the only gold is the finish line
and the knowledge
that all the pain, suffering, trials
and failures will pay
with that medal
hanging on our necks
after we crossed the line

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Tribute

I do not want pity when I am dead
you can cry your eyes out if you want
and bury me in a nice hole
with an engraved rock, if you wish
but pay me tribute when I am alive
tell me all the things you wish, to tell me
so that I can hear you and see your smile
if there is anything, I need to see
I want to know how much you love me,
if you do
and by no means you have to tell me
a four letter word
a tribute should be pay to someone
when alive
not in death, for the dead do not hear
or maybe they do
but just in case tell me now
the things that in your heart
you hide away
give me your love
your listening ear
your understanding gaze, now
not tomorrow for I may not be here
to see it all
if you have a love one on a death bed
tell them how much you love them
or hate them for that matter
for they may go sooner than you think
without ever knowing how you
felt about them or if you love or loved them
at all
we may think they know, we love them
but they might not
and why is it so hard to tell someone
how we feel, when they are so close to our reach
tell me or tell them what is in your heart

for you may not get another chance
once they are gone.
pay
tribute
now that
they and I are
alive

Monday, June 22, 2009

the dark side of me

i know secrets about you
that you wish i didn't know
the dark side of me thinks
i can harm you so bad, ruin your life
but then i digress and reform myself
or do i, or just think that i do
without really thinking much
i deviate at times from the rails of life
i go overboard
i jumped from the skyscraper
i fly with all the secrets in my head
oh yeah, i could mess you up really bad
tell them who you are
but then i return to normalcy again
and i see the light
from the tunnel to the end of the bridge
oh yes, i see the light, it is calling me
the dark side of me appears
wishing to ruin someone's life
my deviation rubs it's fingers with pleasure
i will make you suffer it says
i will make you mad
and ruin your life

in the dark side, i like to be at times
it makes me strong, it makes me mad
for i am an angel, of death
in a second i transform
and if you saw me in this form
you would ask
how in the world did i turn so bad
this is the dark side of me
but it's just a fantasy
or is it a reality?


Creepers

They creep in my dreams
slowly they come to me
they speak to me and tell me things
I read them too
they flow from my head to this
it is hard to know how
the little creepers they make me think
they make me write
even in the middle of the night
when I'm awake they creep up too
they surround me but I tried to shake them off
it is impossible
they creep on me like angry ants
they engulf my brain
they tear my soul apart
they make me think
they bit me like a lonely wasp
trying to find what to do
the pain is too much at times
my head starts to hurt and I see little lights
in the middle of the night
they little creepers run up to my head
and make me write instead
all my dreams, fantasies, hopes
while I dream I sit next to you
and you can barely see me
even when I am standing in front of you
the little creepers make me write
in my dreams,
words creep on me like cockroaches
and finally I can take it no more so I write
to get the little creepers out of my brain

Sunday, June 21, 2009

A New Life

A new life has began
what would it be a girl or a boy?
will it be only one or two?
who knows only time will tell
it is an exciting time in anyone's life
a moment so wanted and waited for
it has arrived, it is here now and it most be lived
the sensations and emotions are one in an infinite million
words cannot describe the aura
that surrounds me from the moment it began
it could be a girl, and what name could I choose
the names are as infinite as the sea itself
and the images in my head of a baby girl
are miracles come true
it could be a boy, and what name could I choose
the names vary but they might be easier to choose
it must be a manly but kind name
so that when he grows up his name will remain even if he left
if it's two WOW! who could have guessed, no one to say the least
two birds with one stone someone would say
and what a joyful time that would become
running around from one crib to the next
giving one a bottle and the other one a breast
diapers will fly here and there, and scattered everywhere
baths will have to take turns and the joy will be just the same
even if not more from one than the other, but who cares
really
the sleepless nights will be worth a million in one, if not more
seeing the angel sleeping will draw tears to my eyes
while I caress their little faces and pointy noses
will give me more than any thrill in life
then she or he or both will grow up
to become fine humans beings
there will be pictures of them growing up
and we will reminisce of times passed and thank God
for all the blessing and miracles in our lives
for this is a true unexpected miracle in my life
A new life has began
A rainbow of colours has enter my head
do I want pink, blue, yellow, or green?
perusing in the stores is so much fun
little shoes, t-shirts, dresses, pants, even little hats
the choices are numerous and infinite
what should I buy or should I wait till I am sure
nah! I tell myself either or she or he can wear both
and if it's two there will no difference at all
for a new life has began
and that is all that it should count
the only thing I know is that the love will be the same
for either one or two, boy or girl it really doesn't matter
because the love I will get in return
will be more than life itself
and for that I am happy and blessed
would it be a girl or a boy?
who cares
all that matter now is
that
a new life has began


Good Riddance

It has been a liberation of many kinds
I have finally rid myself of you
of your antiques and bad temper
and the sadness and anger you carry in you
irate you are all the time
to the world within you
you blame others for what's happened to you
but cannot bare to face the truth
be a man and face it
look at yourself in the mirror and take a hard look
good riddance I am not longer with you
I was drowning in your sorry and only felt pity for you
gave you advice that you were not willing to take
you ask for honesty yet you do not want to hear my words
because you know they are true
good riddance I am no longer with you
You sailed, you worked far away but wanted to remain
at sea you were many times but deny to receive my calls
all messages were returned but never responded to
and even when you erase me from your life
I remain in it far in the distance and in your mind
I am now moving on and leaving you far behind
Good riddance I am not longer with you
You drove and flew imaginable distances to be with me
you said you loved me but those were only words
the words you thought I wanted to hear....how mistaken can one be?
you erred on the side of caution but never jumped in the water with me
but let me drowned
then threw me a life saver and left me at sea
in the middle of the infinite
with no food and no water
good riddance you got rid of me, I suppose
but I got rid of your long ago
when I finally realized, you were not a real man
good riddance you are no longer in my life






Saturday, June 20, 2009

Hated

I heard of a woman
who is hated by all
and she barely knows it
and if she does she lets it slide by
perhaps she knows but in silence she remains
she became the other woman
yet nobody knows why
there are rumors and stories
but no one knows the truth, the whole truth
she is hated by all but one man
who has remain by her side
loving her all this time
he loves her to death
while everyone hates it, for not reason
did she steal a man or not?
who knows, and who is certain that she did
do we know if the man who loves her stole her
from another man
but there are always two sides to every story
there is a woman who has made
the story to fit her own purpose in life
she wants people to feel sorry for her
oh yes, we feel sorry for her
but not fort he right reasons
she has it all wrong and has for the longest time now
all the sorrow she wanted for herself
has turned into pity from others
she is alone and was left behind long ago
she never moved on
when the OTHER woman remained in the scene all this time
and even though she is hated she loves
and is loved
by the one man
who stole her from her own man
even though everyone believes
that it was the other way around
open your mind and listen to her
not just hate her for no reason
you judge her but you don't want to be judge
God forbid what we could find
scattered in the inside of your closet
where nobody has dare to look
because of course you wouldn't do that
but if you did what then
would you want to be judge
the way you have judge the OTHER woman
i think not
put yourself in her place
but you wouldn't do that
because you are so enthrall in your life
and selfishly judge others but not yourself
give her a chance and you might find
someone you did not expect to see
how would you like to be


h
a
t
e
d





wear the pants

wear the pants if you want
but wear them well
wear them like the man you think you are
not like the man you wish to be
you mop around wishing to find
the exact words to describe what bothers you
yet the only things I hear are complaints
it is too hot
it is very cold
it's not hot enough
with you i am strong you tell me
yet i was left behind your bureau
forgotten like a piece of paper that had fallen behind
the crack
and down the crack I fell
while you were holding me in your arms
i hear your words, yet there is silence in them

your thoughts are like clusters of lard
slowly melting without having much effect

they slide out of the pan
right onto the pavement
and we all stepped all over them
because you want to wear the pants
yet you do not have the guts
to be the man you wish to be

you are meek and weak
and you will never be the man you wish to be
if you don't wear the right pants
that you wish you could

it is a false hope


Thursday, June 18, 2009

given up

in his death bed he lies
his heart is filled with anger
he has given up on life and everyone around
i wonder why he wants to die
but i dare not to ask for the answer might hurt
more than i can dare to take
my heart pumps with anger too
because i want him to fight for his life
but he has given up
perhaps he has given up for a simple reason
yet i don't know why
maybe because everyone around is bitter
and sad, they want him to do what they want
he is just being stubborn and is letting go
he knows no one can make him do anything
because he is a hot headed man
he will lie there dying with all eyes on him
maybe he likes the attention we are giving him
we are fighting for his life but he has given up
on his own
why do i fight for him? why do we all i asked myself?
i simply have no answers to tell
i just want him to live, to love me in return, i don't even know why
he gave up on me long ago but i keep on loving him
even when i don't get anything in return
for i know that love is unconditional and not the same all around
should i expect a 'thank you' from him, maybe not
maybe i should do it out of love, the deep love i feel for him
i am angry and i am confused
because i am keeping him alive
even though i know he wants to die
and deep down i know i have also
given up on him
and my dream of him
loving me back

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Unrequited

A woman who has been loving forever
since a young age when she first fell in love
it only took one guy in her life
to make her fall apart
she kept on loving him
even after he left with another woman
she kept on loving him just the same,
as if he was still in her life all this time.
time passed by and she kept on plowing away
her love dripped form her like honey
slowly, smoothly, and delicately
it kept on dripping all of her life
for this one man who left her behind
a man so callous that forgot who she was,
but she kept on loving him
all this time and for the rest of her life
He went on with his and created a fabulous dream
and she went on loving him just the same
as if he was still in her life.
He became ill and she kept on seeing him
by his death bed she stood loving him
she was loving him as if it was yesterday
when she fell in love with him.
He went on with his life even in his death bed
he lived his life with many happy moments
and she bitterly lived hers while loving him
She loved him between silence and tears
but he only had love for the woman he ran away with
but never his first
She gave him all of her in silence her whole life
without getting anything in return, not even a smile
her love dripped from her like honey
slowly, smoothly, and delicately
it kept on dripping all of her life
for this one man who never loved her
not even when she thought he had fallen in love
with her for the first time

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Writing

Writing, it is such a complicated matter
it can be misinterpreted and misunderstood
because you cannot understand or because of your mood
if it were possible writing should only be for business
but then again questions could surface and we have no answers
and would not discourage it because it would be missed.
One simple word could destroy the world
one short sentence could encourage anger
one miss comma, period, semi-colon could be the key
to something great or something that did not meant to be
Colloquial language or slang should never be use but we do
where it come from who knows some might say
we create words every day yet we do not use them all
and express entirely how we feel at all
Writing, it is a meaningful and vital thing
almost as vital as your heart beat and your pulse
we connect letters, phrases, words to give something meaning
that sometimes trigger the end or a beginning
E-mail...phew even worse, we mean something
someone reads it as something else
you explain what you mean, still the meaning is not there
that is why always face to face is better in its place
Speaking...it is confusing
what I hear in my head, I think I said in my words
but no no no the message is lost from beginning to end

and I have to repeat myself over and over again
writing is it so beautiful, yet it can be confusing
read it when you are calm
when you are at peace with yourself
when your heart is in love
it will make all the difference
for there is a different mood and feeling
so read it with you heart and leave your
brain
far
apart

Monday, June 15, 2009

In the distance

In the distance I hear a voice
a sweet and soft voice that soothes my heart
it is my guarding angel looking after me
whispering in my ear
my angel whispers,
you are loved by many
hate by few
but admired by thousands
In the distance I see a light
the light at the end of a tunnel
from where I have emerge with new hope
new dreams, new fantasies, a new life
In the distance I see the sun
rising through the fog warming my heart
it rises slowly yet as fast as the eye can see
it radiates upon my face and soothes me
there is a soft and gentle breeze
I close my eyes and dream and let the breeze take me away
it takes me to another world, where there are no lies
no hate, only love....it is my own imaginary and wonderful world
where everyone gets along
where I can see smiling faces from young and old
the houses are all the same yet very different
Far in the distance I hear a cry
a newborn has arrived, what a joy
Far in the distance I hear a cry
someones love one is gone but we all rejoice
for there when one lives ends another one begins
In the distance I hear a soothing voice
I feel the breeze of the wind caressing my check
tracing the edges of my lips
I open my eyes and it is you
your wonderful eyes and your bright smile
right there in front of me
I smile and you smile back
Far in the distance I hear a voice
And then I wake up....just to find it was all a dream



Blame me

Blame me for some of your happiness
but not your unhappiness
Blame for the smiles I have put on your face
but not the sadness you carry around
Blame me for the passion I bring into your life
but not the disenchantment you found in it
Blame me for the hearty laughs we've shared
but not for the tears that might rolled down your cheeks
Blame me for wonderful passionate nights
but not for most of the lonely ones
Blame me for making your day bright
but not for the darkness in it
Blame me for the romance I once created it
but not for the lack of it by someone else
Blame me for being the open book that I am
but not for the close books that have been in your life
Blame me for once for all the good things I have share with you
but not for the bad things others have shown you
Blame me for the respect I have given you
but never for the disrespect you have received
Blame me if you want for loving with all my heart
but never for not loving at all
Blame me for the honesty I bring with me
but not for the lies and unfounded trust other have shown you
Blame me for being a good friend and lover
but not for being callous and hateful...never
Blame me for the open mind and uniqueness I possess
but not for being different and accepting
Blame me for being so caring and loyal
but never for lack of empathy and appreciation
Blame me for showing you my true colours
but not for showing you the colours you want to see
Blame me for speaking the truth
but never for lying about who I am and what I think
Blame me for anything good I have shown you
but never for making you fall in love with me
you and you alone are to be blame for that

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Sacrifice

I have sacrifice
a lifetime of happiness
in a place where things will never
move forward
it is fun for a while but then what?
we are stagnant in this place
where you live your life and I mine
it is a sacrifice of great amounts
my heart bleeds, my heart loves
I desire to be love
but you will never love me
but if you do, you deny it and why?
I have sacrifice
a lifetime of love
in a place where the water recedes
mud has formed and my feet are stuck
I want to let go but I can't
I want to love but you won't let me
I want to be with you all the time
but
I sacrifice because of love
I often think of you if not every day
I wonder and dream what it would be like
to be with you everyday
You coming home and me waiting
wrapped in my apron
cooking us dinner
chin chin we would with a bottle of red
or maybe white
we would go the patio and eat
and then we would make love
till we are spent
yet
I sacrifice my dream
and the hope dies everyday
when I wake-up
and every night
when I go to sleep
and then we start all over again